Acceptance

Wow it has been a while sense I have been on here! With it being winter we just haven't done much that I have wanted to write about.  I have been feeling like what I do with my time is lame. No one wants to read about the lame day to day, same old boring things that a stay at home mom does. What I wanted to do with this blog is to just write about anything and everything, the same old boring day to day things. So it seems that I am just being to critical with wanting my posts to be awesome, I did this for me and not for who reads it. So no more being critical and judging myself to harshly. I will be better! 

So on the note of being better I am going to write about the thing I am struggling with the most, My body! When we got married in December 2010 I weighed 130, at my last Doctors appointment when I was pregnant June 2012 I weighed 209, and now March 2014 I weigh 155. I have lost about 60 of the 80 lbs that I gained and would really love to lose the rest of it. But the weight is only part of it. 

The weight I gained while being pregnant was a quick gain which of course gave me stretch marks everywhere. And my stomach was pretty much stretched to the max so now I have a lot of stretched out skin. The birth ended up needing to be a c-section giving me a scar and a pouch that will probably never go away. 

So I am struggling with these feelings of not being pretty or sexy. I have a pretty bad muffin top, which is hard for me to find a shirt that looks good on me. So I put on shirt after shirt, getting more discouraged and having more negative feelings about myself. Some days I feel great, self accepting and I look pretty.  On these days I think it is more, state of mind then my actual appearance. 

So on being less harsh and judgemental on myself, I want to be more accepting on me as a whole. To like me as a person and view myself as whole and not fat, ugly and broken. To accept myself on who I am and not how I look, to find talents and hobbies that better myself, to eat healthy and exercise, to be HAPPY!